Don’t blame Thomas Markle #royalwedding #MeghanMarkle

Society, in particular the media pundits, have called the timing of Mr. Markle’s heart surgery “suspicious.” Victoria Arbiter had reported the same on HLN/CNN. Other experts, including a Cardiologist (not involved with the surgery) was brought in to dissect the situation and reported that Mr. Markle was not subjected to “open heart surgery.” He was receiving a stent, and therefore could attend the royal wedding.

This reporting of Mr. Markle’s heart surgery, and consequent criticism, stems from the fact that he would not be involved with the wedding of his daughter, Meghan Markle (a future Duchess, NOT a Princess) to HRH Prince Henry of Wales. In addition, it was reported that Mr. Markle was involved in some “staged” photos, perhaps not the SMARTest use of one’s time.

Whilst society at large and the media pundits are all circling around the same pond, it should be dully noted that Mr. Markle lived a reclusive life in Mexico, away from the glare of Hollywood, where he was once a well-respected lighting director. Has it occurred to anyone that thrusting such a person onto the world stage without any preparation, was perhaps the greatest disservice to this man?

Unlike Mr. Markle, The Duchess of Cambridge, nee Catherine Middleton, was able to prepare her family for at least a decade. Mr. Markle had less than one year from the royal engagement. Even so, no one thought to prepare this man, not the Windsors or his own daughter, Meghan Markle.

Whilst not an expert in psychology, but one who understands culture and have advised executives and commanders on the subject, Mr. Markle might have experienced a phenomenon called Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), better known as “Social Phobia.” I have seen this first hand among friends, colleagues and family members who felt they did not “fit in.”

Some symptoms of SAD includes excessive sweating, trembling and even heart palpitations, which mimics a heart attack. A typical behaviour is that of avoidance of certain social situations, i.e. a seven course banquet. I had friends cancel and later reveal that they did not know exactly how to successfully process such a social situation.

The world lives in such a bubble that we forget there are distinct social classes still in existence. Not everyone will fit into the mold. Whilst some people succeed through trial and error, others completely avoid it. Many people, even the so called “experts” forget that avoidance is a natural reaction to unpleasant social situations.

You cannot fit a square peg into a round hole without first training. Even the Duchess of Cambridge had to go to“Royal finishing school” to fit in. I have taught many friends how to use their utensils and set a formal table; how to have afternoon tea and; greet guests in queue.

When we approach LIFE from a perspective of helpfulness, we can better everyone in the process. We must not have our heads in the sand and always look for sensationalism to fill the void. Instead of TMZ capitalising on Mr. Markle’s faux pas and taking advantage of his lack of social graces, perhaps they should have encouraged him, even prepared him to endure for his daughter’s entry into the Mountbatten-Windsor family.


©2018  |  Gabrielle Bourne – T.E.A.M. @gabriellebourne

Thomas Markle

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